People & Roles
Bluecoat - Cap'n Crunch
Dragoncrusher1 - DragonCrusher1
J Assassin - Problem Sleuth
J@nr0k - Leeroy Jenkins
Landerpurex - Hades, Lord of the Underworld
Monk Basher - Mike Nelson
Muffin Attak - God
PenguinGuy - /b/tard
Riptide - Garfield
Rocky Martin - The Most Dangerous Role
Scar - Al Gore, President of the Moon
Steely Mallon - Elwood, Blues Brother
Tahu 1000 - Bionicle Star
Tanksandguns - Danny Zuko
TheAnimal - Conan O'Brien
Topsummoner - The Federal Commission of T-Pain
Tweedy - Hot Dog

Role DescriptionsCap'n Crunch
You are good ol' Captain Crunch (Cap'n Crunch for short). You, obviously, are well known for two lines featuring the same word. "Crunchatize."
You may choose, at the end of any one single day, to yell "Crunchatize" however you like. This will result in teleporting to your alternate Crunch dimension and being exempt from being lynched (if the majority is on you), and from all night actions. You will re-appear the following morning.
This is one-use.
Layman's terms: Villager. Yelling "Crunchatize" in any way possible keeps him from being lynched or affected by night actions for one night.

DragonCrusher1
You are good ol' DragonCrusher1. Overworked, underappreciated, and quite the insomniac.
So much, in fact, that if you are attacked by the mafia, you'll be able to alarm the villagers and stop the mafia's actions. Not only that, but there's a chance the mafia won't be able to escape the village's eyes.
Layman's terms: Villager. If he's mafia killed, all other mafia actions are stopped. Does not include any of Scar's moon-base operations.

Problem Sleuth
You're a Problem. Yeah, see? Yeah. People don't like you; they think you're bad. So let's be bad. See?
Out of everything you could do, most of it's too obvious. To keep your charm, you've gotta stay hidden. You've gotta let somebody else take the heat for you. In comes your trusty, useless summon, Moe.
Should any of your gangster brothers (Scar, TanksandGuns, Topsummoner) get investigated by another detective (they're butting in on your market), you can bring out ol' Moe to make your buddies look like the good guy. You don't have to, but you can if you really like your friends. See?
Layman's terms: Mafia. If a mafia is investigated, he can choose to summon "Moe" to be a good-guy replacement.

Leeroy Jenkins
"All right. Time's up, let's do this. LEERO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OY, JE-E-E-E-E-E-ENKI-I-I-I-I-I-INS!"
You are Leeroy Jenkins. After being thrown out of the good guild, and refused by all the bad ones, you're all on your own. Choosing to try your hand at revenge, you decide the New Shipa will be a good place to start. So you must kill everyone around you.
You may attack people in the night, one person per night. However, in your total recklesness that earned you your reputation, every attack must be announced by a very loud cry of your name that everyone can hear.
Layman's terms: Third-party. Serial killer.

Hades, Lord of the Underworld
Who can forget good ol' Hades? Quick wit, sharp tongue, suave style, and a hot head to match.
At your command are the three lovely Fates. Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. Clotho spins the thread of life, Lachesis measures it, and Atropos cuts it.
However, since you're in such good favor with these lovely (gyeh ><) ladies, you have the power to convince them to not go through with the death of any given individual who is set to die during the night. But, seeing as you won't always be around during the day, day kills and lynches are still up for grabs.
Oh, did I mention? Lachesis can be a bit impatient. She probably won't allow you to save any specific individual's life more than once. Also, Atropos most likely won't want to give up more than one soul if two are available within one night. She has to fill a quota, you know. It's all in the paperwork.
Layman's terms: Villager. He gets sent a list of who will die in the night, and gets to pick one person from the list to save. He may not save the same person more than once in a game. He can choose to save no-one.

Mike Nelson
Good ol' Mike. A dim-witted temp worker trying to make a living with your mad scientist bosses...
Inspired by past sort-of-success with your "Destroy... Destroy... Destroy..." bot, you choose to spend your time trying again in order to help your Shipa friends. Every night, you can add more to your robot to increase its one-use kill-ability. Every night's work will add 1/2 an attack's worth, meaning two upgrades of the machine will allow for the robot to kill one person before it crashes from over-exertion.
Your robot will attack the first person you name in a series. after that, it forgets and chooses randomly, should it have any whole remaining kill counters left. Also, the robot's programming seems to be stuck in that it can not distinguish living from dead targets. It is perfectly possible to build a robot four four kills and it simply dig into four gaves to maul the poor dead bodies.
It is up to you when to use your robot. If you die, it will seek a random target (dead or alive) and self destruct alongside it, not wanting to go to robot-heaven alone.
Layman's terms: Villager. He gets to add 0.5 deaths to a machine every night, rounding down. The machine is one-use. The first person Monk lists as a target gets hit, any remaining kill charges are random targets. If Monk dies before the power is used, it self-destructs on a totally random target. Dead targets are not excluded.

God
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all...
Unfortunately for you, there's one extreme pet peeve about people today that might alert them to your presence.
"Thou shalt not use God's name in vain"
Should anyone use the name "God" without capitalization of the 'g' to refer to you, you may perform one of a few righteous tasks.
1.) Mute the infidel for the remainder of the day.
2.) Steal the infidel's vote as your own.
3.) Kill the infidel. (Only useable once.)
4.) Prevent the infidel from waking up in the night to perform any actions they may have.
As a God, you are not allowed to take a side. Also, as humans are made in your image, you are also mortal.
Layman's terms: Third-party. Survivor with special powers, only use-able on those who say "God" without the 'g'.

/b/tard
Hey, being a troll is all in good fun, right?
Depending on how many memes you can dish out in a single day, you can perform a different kind of action each night.
0 - 3: Self destruct. No alternative.
4 - 5: Protect any given target except yourself.
6 - 7: Roleblock a target.
8 - 9: Kill a target.
10+: Investigate a target.
As this is Mafia, claiming yourself a Nocturnal Detective counts as a mafia-esque meme. Each new day resets your meme counter. You may re-use memes across multiple days, but you may not count the same meme multiple times within a single day. You may post pictures, but for space's sake, let's keep the mods happy with just text if possible. It is your responsiblity to tell me how many, and which memes you have performed during any given day whilst sending in your night action.
Layman's terms: Villager. He needed to post a lot of, and track how many memes he gives out in a day to use his different powers. Using too few results in a self destruction.

Garfield
Who doesn't love good ol' Garfield? Aside from the guy who throws things at you while you sing on a fence...
However much of a glutton, sloth, or pest you may be, your nack for getting out of trouble is extremely useful. So, should you be visited by a person in the night, you may use your skills to sneakily switch yourself as the target with anyone else of your choosing, including the one who visits you. (However, they will be smart enough to not commit suicide, should they be after you in a lethal way.)
Despite your skills, you can't outrun them all. You just get too tired after a hard night's work. After you confuse away one visitor, you will simply eat a bit of lasagna and go to bed, leaving yourself open to a second visitor.
Layman's terms: Villager. Garfield is good at blaming his troubles and blah on others, so I made him able to switch himself from being a target with anyone he chooses in a night. He can only do this once a night; two people killing him would result in one redirect and one death of Riptide.

The Most Dangerous Role
What would a game be without a good old fashioned overpowered being? Kirby has Crash, Final Fantasy has Ultima, and Mafia has you.
However, due to being so dangerous, you find yourself put in a straight jacket, locked in a padded cell, and only fed three times a day. No matter how dangerous your abilities, your mind is still clearly sane enough to participate in the daily discussions... Unfortunately for anyone who visits you in the night, you've found a way to break the bonds (and even re-apply them!) of your straight jacket. So, should anyone visit you in the night, it will be no difficult thing to tear off your own jacket and force it on another, effectively roleblocking them until the next day and allowing you to kill one person per night from then on out. After all, unless everyone chooses to put you back in that cell, you won't have much stopping you...
Layman's terms: Villager. Rocky would roleblock only the first person who visited him, and then be a vigilante.

Al Gore, President of the Moon
It's bad enough you tried to kill the Man on the Moon for working so well against the Mafia last time during the Shipa incident. Now you choose to declare the Moon as your own territory and you its president? You evil man.
But, being President of the Moon isn't all bad. Your Moon Base actually has quite a few uses. Optimus Prime's death ray has been duplicated, a good telescope is very capable of investigation, and the distance altogether makes a nice safety shelter.
The only problem is time. It takes a good day for any commands to reach the station, and another for the results to show.
You may send one request per night, but just remember, it takes time to get the request through. Also, should you die, all use of the space station will be abandoned, and any of your cohorts (J Assassin, Tanksandguns, and Topsummoner) will return immediately to Earth.
Layman's terms: Mafia. Sending either a kill or investigation request would result in... well, results the next night. Protecting a fellow member would get them protected, but also roleblocked.

Elwood
One of the famous Blues Brothers, how could you be anything to the world but good?
Once per game, upon the lynch of a villager, you can host a Blues concert that will bring all mafia to tears and halt any actions they perform except their usual night kill. This will take place at twilight, before the night begins but after the lynch.
Layman's terms: Villager. He could halt all mafia night actions once a game, immediately after a villager's being lynched.

Bionicle Star
Of all the stars I saw, Gresh was the easiest good guy to think up anything for.
A very skilled fighter (even lasting three minutes against a Skrall), fairly armed, and devoted to the greater good, you decide to use your trusty Jungle Shield to defend one ally in the night from mafia kills, as you can sense their lethal energies.
You also have one single fail-safe in the event that you are attacked while defending anyone but yourself. While one half of your Shield will be devoted to defense, the other will be turned around into an offensive position. Should you be attacked, you will use this blade to kill your own assailant. This is one use.
Layman's terms: Villager. Doctor against mafia attacks. The first time he successfully protects as such, he can kill the attacker.

Danny Zuko
Who needs powers? You just need a bit of gel, some good boots, and a smooth jacket to make your day.
Unfortunately, since Doody, Kenickie, Sonny, and Roger ain't really here to back you up, you've decided to start up the Burger Palace Boys again. As such, you are the leader of the new bad boys: J Assassin, Scar, and Topsummoner.
You look like such a good dude, though, that you won't appear a mafia upon the first investigation against you or death.
Layman's terms: Mafia. (I forgot to bold a "bad" in there.) Godfather, will appear to be a villager upon the first investigation against him, or being killed.

Conan O'Brien
Good ol' Conan. You can still hear it in your ears that you may have been on for ten years, but you were only funny for seven. (Foo'.)
The Late Show with Conan O'Brien isn't exactly unpopular. Everyone in the village watches it, actually, as you drag one person at a time away from their duties to join you in an on-screen interview. It will be announced at the start of the day to everyone the results of your interview, since it's live TV and all.
Layman's terms: Villager. Detective, but his results are ALWAYS public no matter what.

The Federal Commission of T-Pain
The world is yours. Its people are just part of your music.
Kikori: We have no power to
Obama: keep ourselves in check
Jack: as you take us
Reporter: out of context.
But, as a federacy, you're generally seen as bad and disliked. Sucks to be the world, though. During the night and not two nights in a row, everything's part of your song. You'll get to know (though you can not share the knowledge) who has what done to them in the night. And, to make the flow go better for you, you can twist it around.
Example...
Jill will be protected
Jill will be killed
Naturally, if you want Jill to die, you can't exactly let protection get in your way. So switch it around that Jill bites the bullet before the doc gets there.
Also, you have a one-use ability. If you are investigated, you are no longer allowed to use this one-use ability. At the start of one single day of your choosing (meaning your first post of a day), if you say "I'm on a boat" visibly anywhere within the post, you will leave the game between the lynching process (meaning you can avoid a lynch), and the same night.
You work alongside J Assassin, Scar, and Tanksandguns.
Layman's terms: Mafia. Can re-order night actions to bypass protection, role redirects, etc. Only use-able once every other night.
Also, by saying "I'm on a boat" in his first post of a day, he can vanish for the lynching period and the night actions. This power is removed if he's ever investigated.

Hot Dog
One of America's good inventions, and the source of much sustenance for baseball fans throughout the world.
So good, in fact, that whoever kills you or casts the final vote upon your lynch will simply eat you. Once per night, you may choose a one-use condiment for yourself to have an adverse effect on whoever chooses to consume you.
Mustard - similar to mustard gas, your victim will suffer chemical burns and have a 75% chance of failing their night action due to inability to move
Ketchup - A good old fashioned splash on the chest keeps anyone from doing anything in the night guaranteed. They'll be too busy cleaning their shirt.
Relish - The taste will be so foul that you will be spat out in a manner that will reveal the victim's alignment.
Chili - Your target will have a burned mouth and will be unable to speak the following day.
Should you use a topping and not be killed, your topping will be wasted.
Layman's terms: Villager. Adding "toppings" will negatively affect the person who either kills him, or hammers his lynch in the above manners as they eat him.

Night Action History
Night One
Monk gets 0.5 kill charges.
J@nr0k attacks Riptide. Riptide redirects the attack to Lander. Tahu protects Lander, but J@nr0k isn't mafia.
Mafia kills Bluecoat. Scar sends a kill order to the moon base.
PenguinGuy protects Topsummoner.
TheAnimal interviews Topsummoner. J Assassin summons "Moe" to take the interview.
Tweedy puts Chili on himself.
Lander saves himself from death. Bluecoat dies.

Riptide says "god" and gets exploded.

Night Two
Steely's concert blocks mafia's side-actions.
Mafia kills Steely. J@nr0k kills Monk Basher.
PenguinGuy and Tahu protect Topsummoner.
Scar's laser request to kill Tweedy is performed.
Monk gets 1.0 charges.
Tweedy applies Mustard to himself.
Lander saves Tweedy from death. Monk and Steely die.
Monk's machine rolls a '15' for who to kill. '15' is Tahu's line. Tahu gets exploded.

PenguinGuy uses too few memes and self-destructs.
Tweedy's mustard successfully roleblocks Topsummoner.

Night Three
Mafia kill DragonCrusher1. J@nr0k kills Landerpurex.
Lander can not safe himself, so I had him auto-save Dragon. J@nr0k killing Lander, however, ends the game.