>> Complain the music is too loud.

Noted.

>> Throw 8ball

You throw the MAGIC 8-BALL at the IT DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE, dealing a good amount of damage. Amazingly, the MAGIC 8-BALL does not break upon hitting the ground. Maybe it has something to do with this strange, otherworldly space you seem to be battling in?

>> shield bash

In the middle of your shield bash attempt, the IT DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE fires 3 staples at you. You manage to deflect one with your PENNY SHIELD! The other two hit dead-on, causing minimal damage.

>> Give him a fierce paper cut
>> use DOLLAR SWORD OF DOOM on IT EMPLOYEE's JUGULAR

You dash forward and slash at the IT DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE with your ONE-DOLLAR BILL ORIGAMI SWORD, aiming for a critical hit in his neck region. It gives him a pretty bad paper cut. That's going to sting for days on end!

He's getting really mad, now! The IT DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE counterattacks with another STAPLE BARRAGE of three staples. You attempt to auto-parry one of them, but only manage in altering its trajectory. It still ends up hitting you, along with the other two. Ouch!

>> Query magical abilities.

You open the MAGIC TAB in your menu, which displays a listing of the magics you know and their respective descriptions. (How long has this been here...?) The spells listed here are color-coded:
- Green for healing or defensive
- Red for attacking or offensive
- Brown for neutral
It looks like you only know the GRAVITY spell at this point in time, and that's not going to directly do any harm to the IT DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE whatsoever...