The Villager RevisitedWell Hullo again, It is me, dr henry, with another check-up on the Villager Offices!  Today, we see another of Gamestar's special 'Penguin Races', where he sneakily steals Since I Was Gone's penguins and race them together, while collecting bets on who will win. I'm going for Pinky on this race, GO ON PINKY!!!!  I lost. But there are even more exciting activities that have opened up over the past few months. Trendyhaz, after his three-year hibernation, 
has woken up to see his office covered in potatoes. From this he invented an extremely boring game, 'Spud-Peeling'.
How fun?Anyway, moving on VERY fast, we go to the never-seen-before..... GIRL'S TOILETS!!!!!  Now last month, you may remember an extremely funny article called Girl Advice with Hoof and Mrpenguin12, well here is the room in which it was made! Venturing through the door, you suddenly get hit by a waft of pungent purfume, smelling somewhat similar to a mixture of GCSE's room (we will visit that later on the journey) and Monk Basher's aftershave. Furthur in, you can hear giggles. Girly giggles.  The sound appears to be coming from the end cubicle, Slowly does it, I'm creeping up as we speak. Right then, readers, this is the moment of truth, I'm going to need to be very careful doing this risky operation. Fingers crossed as I open the door and *CREEEAAAKK!* OMG!!!!! What on earth are those???? AAAAAAHHH!!! GIRLS!!!!! 
RUN AWAY!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!! *Pants* Phew, that was close, I've alerted Gamestar about our Pest Control issue,  one of our newest rules is that we aren't allowed to keep girls as pets, and someone has been very naughty. It seems that Hoof and Penguin have been getting their advice from two girls who have been kept hidden in the bathroom, where no-one enters. Well, now that is sorted out, I'm going to revisit the horror that is GCSE's office, but this time... I'M GOING IN!!!!!!!....  Right, I have to be VERY quiet here so I don't wake anything up, I'm not sure who or what lives in here and I am not keen to find out. Now, to the left of me, there is the spot where Zilla lay when he/she/it was locked in here. To my right, there is a strange lump of some kind of food substance, I'm not 100% sure what it is. Now here in the dangerous part, I'm going for...  THE DESK!!!!!!!!!!!  Readers, I hope you all wish me luck as I open up the TOP LEFT DRAWER!! Inside is... OMG!! It is a severed eyeball!! Oh, wait a minute... it is just a spherical eraser with a black circle drawn on it. *PHEW*. Time to move on, with the TOP RIGHT DRAWER!! Inside is... a copy of the RULES which GCSE had edited, now I'm just going to make a few adjustments... hang on... here we go: The Official, Unofficial, Written, Unwritten Rules of the Villager Revised - Created by GCSE - Rewritten by Frogger and dr henry - rewritten AGAIN by GCSE and then edited by drhenry - GCSE didn't ACTUALLY edit again, but for the purposed of this storyline, he did! 1. Mnok Bsasher is ALWAYS right.  2. If Mnok Bsasher is wrong...rule 1 applies, unless you throw a black cat over your shoulder, knock over a ladder, step on salt and walk underneath a crack on the ground, that is the only way Monk will EVER be wrong. 3. Gamestar is very grumpy in the mornings. (His morning lasts from Sunday 6:00am-Sunday 5:59am). Therefore, you MUST send in the complaint during the one minute where he is happy.  4. If you do not submit an article EVERY month with the strange numbers, '4 8 15 16 23 42' written at the bottom, you will crash on your next plane journey, find yourself lost on an island with a bunch of l00natics (YES! THE VILLAGER STAFF WILL BE THERE!!!) and be randomly attacked by 'The Others' (Yes, the forum Admins will be there!). 5. Trendyhaz will make a few appearances and announce some stuff. Ignore this because he is completely mad. 6. Ozzie thinks since he started playing Runescape 2, he's going to own everyone. Don't be fooled, he really is a noob.  7. Rabadzija codes most of the articles. His coding is always wrong. 8. If Rabadzija coded an article correctly, see rule 7. 9. Any mention of the fact that GCSE is so old his blood group has been discontinued will result in you being forced to read the entire Paper since issue one in Chinese (You WILL be tested on this.) If you pass, we will force you to re-take the test in Japanese, English, American and MolePeople-ish.  10. Every other member of staff will expect you to give them a party hat. Do this, it makes them happy. If they are unhappy, Gamestar is unhappy, see rule 3 for more information. 11. Occasionally you will see a strange man called Dustin wearing a yellow party hat. Ignore him, he lives in the Villager Waste-Basket and sometimes runs around shooting people with his finger which he believes is a Gun.  12. If you feel sick then go to dr henry. He will prod you until you throw up and send you back to work. 
13. If you still feel ill then rule 12 applies. 14. If you ever hear music coming from GCSE's office, cover your ears as the classics will hurt you!  15. GCSE is taking a break. If you still hear music, rules 14 applies. 16. If you are EVER found untying your socks, we will poke you and then throw you to the penguins.  17. If you ever hear music coming from dr henry's surgery, start untying your socks! If you are found not untying your socks, you will be poked, and then thrown to the penguins! Rule 16 applies. 18. If you have a complaint, send it to dr henry, he will then quickly put it infront of Gamestar's eyes and run off before he chases the complainer and explodes.  19. If you are caught inside Monk Basher and dr henry's office, Gamestar's office or Trendyhaz's office, you will be swarmed by a group of gorgeous looking girls, all who will be topless, they will then dance you into a state of paralysis. 20. If you have a problem with the rules, see rule 3.  Wow, those are weird rules! moving on to the BOTTOM LEFT DRAWER!! Inside is... A YoYo? Why does the dreaded GCSE have a YoYo? Hang on... there is a small thing hidden inside, it looks like it is a key. I'll try the BOTTOM RIGHT DRAWER! It is locked... let me check that YoYo key... Ok, I'm in... Inside is... a folder with, 'Project killgameandgetawaywithitattempt#193458969694583 - PLAN B  Hmmmm, very interesting, I better not let him see this! UH OH! I have disturbed that pile of books over there and now they are groaning and moving, I'm out of here! OH NO! The door is locked! Well, bye readers, if I EVER get out of here, I'll report it next month in... dr henry and the attack of the GCSE Book-Monster! Bye for now, dr henry. AFTERNOTE: Here are some quotes my friends at the Office have given me to comment about my article... although some are slightly random. Hoof Noob: Getting info isn't all Penguin and I do with the girls mr penguin12: Shhh, hoof, they werent supposed to know that either, but dr henry, did you see how hot they were? SCORE!! see, our advice must be great to get women like that hawaiigopher: I'm currently trapped in a little hole that is covered up with tons of moose poop which is why I haven't been able to work here. Gamestar: I have a horrible urge to eat some Roast Chicken now Monk Basher: Has anyone seen my red pen? I lost it in GCSE's old room, and I'm not about to go back in there... Written By: dr henry Edited By: J@nr0k Coded By: J@nr0k Pictures by: Gamestar |