How to Cheat In Exams – An Idiot-proof* guide

*Yes, TheAmericanIdiot was prevented from editing this!

Note to reader: following this advice is done at your own risk; do not allow this to come back to me! (Seriously, don’t do this; I write articles for fun, not lawsuits.)

Ok, guys, exam period is coming up. You have had the study leave, revised the best you can and yet you still feel nervous. Who can blame you? I mean, these exams will shape your entire future! If you fail, your parents might disown you and will probably sell your pets on eBay. You really have only one choice, don't you? You have to cheat. Don’t give me that look; I'm only here to help you (seriously please don’t cheat – fun not lawsuits). The following article provides ten of the best cheating methods known to man.

1. The Yawn and Stretch
   
   First take a slow, deep breath with your mouth open. Within ten seconds, you will feel a yawn brew. As you start to yawn, lift your arms up and stretch out, looking either left or right at your neighbours work.


2. The Spiller
   
   This method will make you look like an idiot but will give you plenty of time to observe others work. Open a bottle of water and spill some on your crotch. Stand up and flail around while wiping yourself off and moaning. You will have at least thirty seconds before a teacher will tell you to sit down.


3. The Graffiti
   
   Write quotes on your legs then ask to go for a pee half-way through the exam. While you’re in the cubicle, read your legs and the quotes will be there.


4. The Best Friend
   
   Have a friend sit in front of you during the exam. Make sure they wear a t-shirt that is directly relevant to the exam, but not too blatant.


5. The Charles Ingram
   
   In tests with a multiple choice like A,B,C,D, have a cough system like Charles Ingram did on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' One cough for A, three for C, etc.


6. The YMCA
   
   Much like the Charles Ingram, your friend performs a "YMCA" style arm stretch instead of coughing. Y is A, M is B and so on. This system only works if you cheat the whole way through or your friend says the question number quiet enough not to be heard.


7. The Qualifier
   
   Used in conjunction with 5 or 6 to confirm and answer. For example, if your friend coughs twice then you have to feign a sneeze to get them to repeat. Allow for a time delay, as mass coughing and sneezing is kind of obvious.


8. The Twin
   
   Get your nerdy identical twin to take the exam on your behalf. You get to stay in bed and still get an A; this is the perfect situation if you have an identical twin. Note: A normal twin will not work because you may not even be a member of the same sex.


9. The Parent
   
   Get your parents to be an independent exam watcher, someone who is paid to oversee exams, or (even better) an exam paper grader. Then get them to help you.


10. The Wet Yourself
    
    Much like The Spiller and follows a similar tactic, only more risky (for both your exam and for your social status).

Written By: Richboi0
Edited By: Dr Henry
Coded By: TheAmericanIdiot