Prologue

It was a day like any other, when little Billy was called on in the classroom. The teacher asked him, "Billy, what is the "" smiley for?" Billy replied, "... WAAAAAAA! DON'T MAKE ME EAT PEAS AGAIN!"

It was this day that struck fear in the hearts of many. How could children not know what smileys were for? It would devastate the economy for generations to come! That is why a lone hero, "Lone Hero," and his sidekick, "Lone Sidekick," stepped up. He took upon the mighty task of writing a guide... A guide to smileys!

And so the task began, and after many hard hours at work... It was complete! He opened it, and read his finished masterpiece.


Guide to Smileys
By The Lone Hero and The Lone Sidekick.

Chapter 1 -- What is a Smiley?

A smiley, also called "emoticon," is used to show emotions over the internet. Emotions and much, much more!

Here are some example of some of my favorite smileys-
Those are just an example of the many smileys... I am afraid not everything can be covered in this one story. A sequel may be in order...

There are 20 basic smileys, and 58 in all. That is a lot of writing, and of course, I am a hero. Heroes do a lot of hero things, so it’s not always easy to get things done... Yeah... hero things... Anyway, on to chapter two!

Chapter 2 -- The List

Here is the actual list of smileys, and how they should be used.

- Definition: YAY! WEEEEE! I am so excited, I could ride a bull!
Uses: Use this smiley to make people feel better when you are telling them off.
Example: Don't call me a potato! Noob!
Purpose: It baffles your opponent, they quickly think you are yelling at them, then revert to the definition. That makes them forget everything you just said about them, and in turn making your opponent look like a total moron in a debate.

- Definition: Hey sweet stuff. Rawr!
Uses: Use this smiley to flirt with the opposite sex.
Example: Hey, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Purpose: Usually, the opposite sex thinks it is rude to ask this question (in most cases). Well, by adding our friend here, it makes them say, "Hey, this person took the time to SMILE at me, I love him/her!"

- Definition: I want to be in a hole... Now can I have phr33 st0f pl0s?!
Uses: Use this smiley to make people feel bad for you.
Example: I just died.
Purpose: It makes people say, "Poor guy/gal, he/she is dead... I'll give him/her phr33 st0f pl0s!"

- Definition: I want to eat something!
Uses: Use this smiley when you are hungry. It will scare away everyone else from your rightly claimed food.
Example: Hi
Purpose: By using that smiley, and that smiley alone, people always gasp and run. They don't want that big mouth around them, do they? Now you have the whole buffet to yourself!

- Definition: Liek ima fish!1!1!11!1!!!1two!1
Uses: Use this when in trouble, it disguises you as a fish.
Example: Oh noes! It's Hannor! Hi han... I mean "blurb, blurb!"
Purpose: If somebody is on to one of your "world domination plans," then use this to ward off suspicious people. There is no way they will recognize you as a fish! It works every time!

- Definition: Uh... yeah grandma... I love your cooking...
Uses: Use this when evil grandmas make weird foods.
Example: I love chopped cow toes and egg smoothies...
Purpose: Grandmas only suspect you don't like their cooking when you act normal. Always act strange in the face of odd grandma cooking.

- Definition: I'm a cool cat... yeeeaaah...
Uses: Use this when you go to a poetry reading.
Example: *snaps fingers, wearing black beret and sunglasses* Oh yeeeeaaaah...
Purpose: Whenever you need to be cool... Use this smiley. It makes you look so cool, that even "cool" thinks you’re cool.

- Definition: I chew with my upper lip.
Uses: Use this smiley when you break your jaw. Chewing with your upper lip always comes in handy.
Example: I'm good at defying the way in which my human body is supposed to work. Besides, my jaw is broken so how else am I going to chew? MMMMM
Purpose: It's not easy swallowing things whole. That's why you can choose to chew with your upper lip when you can't, or don’t want to, use your bottom one (it makes your bottom lip useful for other things, such as a clothes hanger).

- Definition: I can see farther! AND I am so angry... I could stab a cabbage!
Uses: Use this smiley to see farther (by squinting) and looking mad all at once.
Example: Is that my wife/husband with that other man/woman in the distance?
Purpose: See how useful it is? If your partner is ever "breaking the rules" then simply squint to see them better, and get MAD because they aren't being very nice.

- Definition: Haha! You thought it was a joke!
Uses: Use this smiley to trick others into thinking what you said was really a joke.
Example: Haha, you are THE noobiest NOOB ever to land on n00b Planet... N00B!
Purpose: How would they find out it wasn't really supposed to be a joke? You used the "" smiley! Now you can humiliate them and make them like you all in one!

All of a sudden there was a crash outside the hero's house! He went to investigate...

To be continued...

Written by - Carnivo
Proofread by - Monk Basher, steve-loser, and gydot
Coded by - Poison333