A day in the life of a zOnE_AnT
The old and shabby stairway leading to the Runevillage General Newspaper staff office squeaked and creaked as zOnE_AnT, the chief editor of the newspaper, made his way up for a VIP conference scheduled by Phat Hobo, one of the many writers in the company. Frogger, one of the head Programmer and mr penguin12, a proofreader and writer were also asked to attend the meeting.
When zOnE_AnT entered the brightly lit room, he shielded his eyes from the bright lights hanging over head. He squinted and let his eyes adjust to the bright lights.
When his surrounding came into better focus, he could see Frogger and mr penguin12 giggling excitedly while staring out the window, binoculars in hand. Phat Hobo was found sitting behind a cluttered desk madly typing his latest article for the newspaper.
zOnE_AnT took a quick glimpse at his digital watch and glanced around the untidy room filled with papers, filing cabinets, half empty coffee cups and three people who seemed to be completely oblivious of his existence in the room.
“Umm… the meeting was scheduled at 6 o’clock, correct? I’m not late or anything am I?” started zOnE_AnT rather uncertainly. Phat Hobo snapped up from the computer screen instantly and looked up chief editor with a smile. “No, no you’re just in time actually! Frog and Penguin just arrived several minutes ago anyways. Listen, thanks for coming on such short notice. This is a really important meeting concerning the second issue of the newspaper!”
A rush of shock and panic flooded zOnE_AnT all at once. “A problem? With what? What’s wrong with next issue? What are you talking about? Is it serious” The questions were coming out in an incoherent babbling mess.
“Shh!” said Phat Hobo calmly, holding his finger to his lips. “We don’t want the entire newspaper team to know just yet.” Zone nodded and stood quietly and looked around the room as if there was something in the pigsty-like office that could offer him comfort.
“What are you guys laughing at?” he asked angrily. He looked fiercely at the two who were giggling madly. “I’m sure you two understand the sever issue at hand?”
“Some guy down there dressed only in boxers is chasing a family of raccoons with a slingshot” explained Frogger. Mr. Penguin nodded in agreement and offered Zone his binoculars. “Check it out if you don’t believe us” he beckoned.
Zone paced over impatiently and pressed the binoculars up against his eyes and looked out the window. “Where am I supposed to look? I don’t see anything.” he muttered. When he took the binoculars away from his eyes, there were two pink circles around each eye.
Phat, Frog and Penguin began to giggle uncontrollably and gave each other the thumbs up. The supervisor (unaware of the prank just pulled) gave them a dark look and began tapped his shoes on the floor. “If you don’t mind gentleman, I’d like to know more about this issue at hand!” This remark only made the three giggle even harder.
“Okay, okay” breathed penguin slowly. “First things first, before we continue any other conversation, you must understand that what ever goes in here and what ever discussion we partake in here must not reach the public until Phat Hobo, Frogger and I agree that it is safe that the rest of the village knows what will happen. Is that a deal zOnE_AnT?” He extended his hand out to the boss. “Do we have a deal here?” Zone nodded impatiently and took penguins hand only to feel a sharp electrical shock curse through his hand.
Frogger fell on floor crying and laughing at the same time while Phat Hobo patted zone on the back laughing. “I think I’m going to suffocate from laughing so hard” wheezed Frogger. Penguin just nodded his head in agreement.
zOnE_AnT’s face grew redder with rage. “Enough! We have business at hand here!” Almost at once, the laughing died down. “Your right” agreed Phat Hobo. “Its only right we discuss about this more, but you still swear that you won’t tell anyone what has and will happen here correct?” zOnE_AnT nodded impatiently and waited for details about the issues in the next newspaper copy.
“Why don’t we have a seat first?” suggested Frogger. This talk is going to take longer than you think. Everyone agreed and made their way to a seat. Phat Hobo took his seat behind his desk, while Frogger and Penguin took positions over two comfy and cushioned sofas leaving a bulky beanbag seat open for zOnE_AnT.
“Well, aren’t you going to take a seat?” asked Frogger. “Sit down and we can talk business!”
“I’m not sitting there!” sneered zOnE_AnT almost at once. “It’s probably fixed with some sort of explosive or something.” He grabbed and pushed Frogger out of the way and took what was going to be the programmer’s seat.
“KA-BOOM!!” went the seat as bags full of chalk exploded all around the bewildered chief editor. When the dusk cleared, zOnE_AnT looked like he was a ghost. Phat Hobo, Frogger and Mr. Penguin were all found to be lying on the floor screaming with joy and laughter.
“You liars!” zOnE_AnT said. “I hate each and every single one of you! Pulling something like this on me!”
“Oh, we are so very sorry” said Phat Hobo apologetically. The others nodded. “We won’t do it anymore…it would wrong and immoral.” Frogger and mr penguin both got up and proceeded to dust zOnE_AnT off. “We’re terribly sorry” they said together.
“I don’t care how sorry you three are! I’m leaving! And mark my word, when the public hears about-”
“Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no” said Phat Hobo shaking his finger. “Perhaps you forget that you promised that no one shall hear about this until we three agree that the time has come right?” zONe_AnT merely clutched his fists and frowned. “I’m out of here” he said quickly and he walked off.
A second later, they heard a huge crash outside there door. Frogger and Penguin looked at Phat Hobo. “Skateboard” he explained with a grin.
“Those were really great tricks!” exclaimed Frogger. “How did you manage do get it all together?”
Phat Hobo smiled. “I guess those senior pranks got back at him eh? Let’s see what happens when we try this on an admin!” The three couldn’t help but grin. “I can dibs on Euph!” laughed mr penguin12
“But first things first, let’s get this film developed and ready to go. I managed to get the whole thing on camera!” boasted Phat Hobo.
“How did you manage to do that?” asked Frogger at once with a glint of amusement in his eyes.
“That my friend lies in the ingenious mind of a Hobo like myself!” He produced a small camera from his pocket and showed the other two. “I hid a camera in the corner of the office that took pictures every 5 seconds and it seems like it caught the entire thing perfectly!”
And the three left the building and strolled off to their local photo-shop in search of new adventures and pranks to pull on other unsuspecting villagers.
MORAL OF THE STORY: DONT PLAY WITH MATCHES!! OH, THAT AND THE FACT THAT BEING THE LEADER OF THE RV NEWSPAPER ISNT ALL FUN AND GAMES AND THAT HOBOS ARE KA-RA-ZEE!
Author: Phat Hobo
Proofread by: bill_iop99
Coded by: Frank