Welcome to the church of the black grenade
Where you come if a man done you wrong
Come lead the charge of the fourth crusade
And you’ll learn what you known all along.

Where you come if a man done you wrong
If he proves your vows a mistake
And you’ll learn what you known all along
If you drown yourself in the lake.

If he proves your vows a mistake
If your furies cannot abate
If you drown yourself in the lake
Make your bottle a soul mate.

If your furies cannot abate
You’re tortured by trials unseen
Make your bottle a soul mate.
Jim Beam will seem real serene.

You’re tortured by trials unseen
He refuses to care for the baby
Jim Beam seems real serene
When you’re drunk and he cries you’ll shrug maybe.

He refuses to care for the baby
He says that you have a condition
When you’re drunk and he cries you’ll shrug maybe
But you drink of your own volition.

He says that you have a condition
When your head’s submerged in the drink
But you drink of your own volition
And doodle with permanent ink.

When your head’s submerged in the drink
You died facedown in the yard
And doodle with permanent ink
Obese and swaddled with lard.

You died facedown in the yard
Come lead the charge of the fourth crusade
Obese and swaddled with lard
Welcome to the church of the black grenade.